I have something to say.

Here, have something to read.

The subliminal messages that I planted myself

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Some days on the commute to the office, I pass by a pie factory. I consider applying for a job there and not having to think about whether I love what I do or whether I’m fulfilled professionally. In a pie factory, you don’t love your job, but you probably get free pie on a weekly basis and that’s a type of love and fulfillment. 

But then I remember my factory jobs during college and how the clock sometimes actually moved backwards except during break times; how, if I preferred to stack boxes on the skids instead of doing just about anything else on the assembly line, it didn’t matter because I had no choice of what I could do with my time. I’m not saying I can shoot firecrackers or play video games whenever I want at my current job, but the simple choice of when I want to eat lunch is liberating as hell after factory work.

So I always drive past the factory and get myself to the office where I sit down at my desk and keep a stiff upper lip while staring at all the postcards I’ve gotten from traveling and I daydream about the next place I’m going to go.

I also daydream about pie.

P.S. I did not travel with, to, or near Amy Poehler for that particular postcard.

This is my summer

  1. Getting tan by sitting on the beaches of Tybee Island, GA and Destin, FL.
  2. Getting supertan by playing tennis for the first time in nearly a decade. I’m not as awesome as I used to be, but I’m still pretty amazing. Let’s not kid ourselves.
  3. Getting stuck in my car in inconvenient places because it’s 12 years old and I’m in denial that it’s a preteen.
  4. Avoiding my garden.
  5. Not wearing closed toe shoes.
  6. Planning our fall vacation. Planning = Obsessing.
  7. Getting mildly sick.
  8. Finding a new favorite restaurant - No. 246.
  9. Half-heartedly applying for jobs, half-heartedly being offered them, and then half-heartedly turning them down. Yes, this happened more than once.
  10. Not getting that mad at anything. Yay for everyone!

I want to see your face on the billboard sign

One day I will have an enormous pile of cash. This magical cash will breed with itself so the pile will stay the same size, no matter how foolish or short-sighted I am. Also, no matter how delusional I get. 

Every month, I will grab two fistfuls of this cash and throw it at Kelly Hogan. I mean, I will chuck it with all my might towards her and her beautiful voice so it doesn’t take her over a decade between recording albums.

I know I have questionable taste in music, but if there’s one singer who does not shame me, it’s this woman. I Like To Keep Myself In Pain was released yesterday. Don’t wait any longer to buy it. She also tours around with Neko Case so go see them this summer.

Just support her until I get my magical cash pile started. Then whatever, I’ll handle it from there.

London calling

I’ve never really wanted to visit London. Ok, let’s be honest, I never really want to visit any place not in France, but that’s a ridiculous thing to do, even for me. There are actually plenty of places I have on my must-travel list and somewhere on that list, not at the top, but maybe hovering in the top 15, is London.

London belongs on a short list of worldly cities and I figure it’s high time I see what all the fuss is about. Now, I’m not gonna lie to you (at this moment): I wasn’t too excited about planning for the trip, mostly because I’m not into all the royalty or other anglophile crap. What else could there possibly be of interest to me?

So I looked at a map and it turns out that there’s lots of great museums since England was so good at plundering and stealing the world’s treasures. There are immense amounts of Desi food which I love with all my heart. There is a Roman bath and white cliffs and henges and really old universities only an hour or two in all directions. In short, I found myself getting behind this London thing.

But it wasn’t until I put down a deposit on an apartment in Chelsea a few months ago that I got full-on London mode. We’re visiting for a week and a half later this year, but I’ve already gone nuts making itineraries and marking up Google maps. I guess I really am looking forward to NotFrance.